Romance in a diaper pack

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Someone who read the rough copy of my novel Nothing but Love said,’ ‘Sometimes I laughed wondering is this what goes in the minds of married couples’’ I replied, “Marriage isn’t the end of happily ever after; roller coaster ride just begins after marriage. Both or one would be busy screaming and won’t have time at all for romance.” Partially it is true. The real happiness just begins after marriage, not as fairytales depict of love and romance. What is romance? A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. Don’t we come across such moments every day in our marital life? A feeling of excitement, according to books, the heart beats rapidly seeing the partner. Well, thank Allah your heart beats normally or your heart would stop having a sudden attack? A mystery associated with love: checking the grocery bag is mystery and finding a diaper pack is love, if not you have to wake every time your kid pees ? Western culture, by its books, cinema and everything else has brain washed us to believe what they say is to be right. When it comes to romance and love we are fed to think of a stereotype marriage. We compare our marriages and the life style to what we have seen in movies or read in books. Our marriage is black and white while we think every other person’s is colourful like a bestselling romance book. A fairytale wedding, a costly gift, a surprise visit in between a business meeting and endless romance is all what our minds are used to crave for and eventually we are forced to forget the little happenings around. The beauty of the life slips from our lives while we think of a fiction never happened. I’ve got an ankle injury a few decades ago and now it has begun to ache. I was sitting, stretching my legs and concentrating on some paper work not letting my mind bother about the pain I feel. But I was shocked to see my husband carrying a hot water basin. He asked me to dip my feet for a while for it would help to reduce my pain. SubhanAllah, I can’t explain how grateful I felt. Isn’t this romantic? Someone would say it’s caring but romance is different. For me, these little things are too romantic Alhamdulillah. I had this habit of clipping his nails. And eventually he got used to that and it was added to my ‘to-do’ list. This is just another object in my to-do list but it is romantic for me. I stated this to prove my point about real romance and imaginary romance. Do you think there’s a difference between a wife who cooks a surprise meal and a wife wakes up early in the morning and cooks whatever she finds to feed the family with? What is important is what is in heart. A husband who works for the whole day, do you feel upset and sad? Yes, I do. I feel frustrated when my husband works over nights. But still isn’t there romance? Isn’t he sweating to keep me and my family happy? I know some says happiness isn’t in what he earns but what he gives. My point is to give he must earn, shouldn’t he? Seeing our friend smiling and enjoying doesn’t mean she’s having the exact life a fiction book explains of. Everyone has their own problems and shortcomings. Ruining our happiness just because of that is insane. Since I’m a romance novelist and I speak a lot about marital issues, it doesn’t mean I am playing the exact wife’s role. No, I’m just another human being with loads of errors. But the people who live with me are too kind and adorable that they see the better of me and bear the flaws of mine. What books and movies do is depict the smiling and emotional moments of one’s life. It is the readers’ or the viewer’s duty to realize the truth and identify the difference. It would be a foolish thing to sigh comparing our lives with other’s life. If we know to value our lives, our life story will be one bestselling of all time. Rather wasting our time in wondering how it would be to be like them it would be better live our lives accepting every account as the best in life. A blissful marriage doesn’t need fancy things to decorate with. A gift can surprise us but the peace and happiness a marriage gives us is priceless. Ruining the happiness in our lives because we aren’t surprised more often is the biggest foolishness ever. I recently interviewed my husband for an article similar to the theme but I had to give up since he wasn’t giving the exact reply. But each and every reply of him was flattering me; they made me smile thinking how romantic the SMS chat was. His replies weren’t practical enough to accept for an article but sure it would suit for a romance novel This is the difference, this is the spice used by such authors. They pick the sweetest incidents and illustrates in a book or a movie. It’s his duty. Will you buy a book I write about each and everything happens in my life? Trust me; those who said I’m good in writing romance novels will withdraw their statements ? It is true that a marriage happens between adults. But the bond of the marriage is just born. So let grow the bond, care for it as you would care your child. Every marriage isn’t successful and every spouse isn’t faithful. But just because of a few, don’t compare and let your bond wither. Try your best to nourish the bond with faith and love for the sake of Allah. The seeds we plant, the children we bring up for the sake of Allah never go in vain. If not in this world we will be rewarded in the other world. Your marital life is like a see-saw. You always need your partner to see the beauty of the marital world. Enjoy every ups and downs in life together. When you are up, humbly enjoy and remember you were given chances to see the world. When you are down feel how it was to the other person to be in your position, smile with hope that you will get another chance to rise up with the help and sacrifices of your partner. Don’t forget to learn the biggest truth in life. You SEE and then it becomes ‘SAW’. Everything in life will be soon added to the past.

I’m PossibleChapter 6
2 Comments
  • i could relate to everything u wrote dear..MashaAllah keep writing...!!

    Reply
    January 2, 2016 at 3:10 pm
    Posted by TAHSEEN

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